Hi there,
To be completely honest, I really struggle to keep showing up as wildkinship. There's this tension in my brain between what I believe & hope to achieve and what the general response is to what I do. I think, in a way - wildkinship doesn't make sense to most.. until it does.
I guess I've been thinking a lot lately about "why", why I started this, why I keep going lately.
If we jump back about 10 years, this writing started in the depths of postpartum. I was working through feeling like a failure as a mother. I was exploring writing privately, using it to heal and understand the thoughts in my brain. I actually had a shopfront at the time and one day I wrote a piece in my own handwriting and put it on the wall. It sold about half an hour later. It was quite shocking actually.. but I took it as a sign to continue what I was doing.
So I kept going and as each piece sold, often with tears in peoples eyes I started to realise how important words actually are to people.
The thing I think that's really difficult to understand is what people are ACTUALLY feeling in their heart, mostly - we show up in life with a smile on our face because that's what we know.. but really - what's going on deep down is what is real and.. I think this is what these words speak to (or at least what I hope they do).
From there I explored all the themes that felt relevant to me; family, parenting, children, love, courage, pain, life.
In my life, I've experienced some deep pain, there's no need to go into it.. and if you read any of my work, I'm sure you can relate to wounds and hurt. One of the things I struggle with is that my words are so... deep. I am deep, but I'm not like that in every area of my life. These words aren't for every area of life. They're for navigating pain. For struggling through working shit out. For healing. For helping... again.. at least that's what I hope.
Honestly, I'm not always sure where they fit. Sometimes I think the pieces are too long, too "much." And then I'll get an email, or a review, and I'm reminded how powerful these words actually are to someone.
Over the years I've written and released SO many pieces. Many I've written for friends, followers and family - gifted for free but also done commissions, for families going through incredibly tough seasons. Cancer journeys. Grief that doesn't have easy edges. I often feel underqualified to write into moments like that. But somehow, the words come anyway.
If I could play piano, or any instrument, I think I'd have gone into songwriting instead I guess it's a similar world, just a different medium.
To summarise.. in a way.. my "why" is this: I know the power of words. I know pain. And I know that "positivity" isn't always the answer.. but that when you need help "putting your finger on the feeling" these words can be there for you. In a way, there are really two sides to what I write. One is the before.. the belief.. the good stuff. Family, love, affirmation. The other is the after; the pain, the healing, the going through it.
I hope whichever side finds you today, it finds you at the right moment.
Will I fully understand what this is? Probably not.. but will I continue to go on the journey? for now.. yes - for I know somehow - words are powerful and speaking to all these feelings is helpful for me & I hope helpful for others too.
Checkout my work here.
Lots of love,
Bella